whopping question to ask
Society and Taboos

An Unusually And Whopping Question To Ask

People say marriages are meant for a lifetime and the matches are made in heaven. Probably, the one who makes matches in heaven often commits mistakes. You may question me for saying so. Well, there are couples who feel had they not married each other, life would be better for them. Recently, I heard the news about a mother of three, in my nearby village, who eloped with a young man. She had taken away her youngest daughter with her and people in my village couldn’t stop bashing her character.

Some of you may think of what kind of woman she was to elope with someone else. People in my village were already discussing her loose character and the sin she had committed. Maybe what she did was wrong and she should have thought of the consequences. The woman was brought to the police station and was asked about the reason behind her decision to elope. 

The woman said, “I don’t find my husband a good human. For all these years of our marriage, he never respected me, forget about love. Every now and then he hits me for not bringing enough money and gold in the dowry. He doesn’t work himself and steals away my hard-earned money to have alcohol. But have I ever raised my hand to him for not earning money to raise and feed our kids properly?”

“After all these years, I found someone who understands and respects me. The one who cares for me. So I eloped with him as I knew the society would never accept this relationship.”

I know what that woman did was wrong. What she did, can impact her kids’ life in an adverse manner. People may snap at those kids and taunt them for what their mother did.

But do we think about the situation that compelled her to take such a step? I feel the woman was so depressed with her abusive marriage, she kept everything aside and ran for her happiness. Maybe she couldn’t muster the courage to continue with her toxic and abusive marriage any longer. 

It’s not just about women. There are men too who stay in a marriage that seems toxic and choking to them. I am not saying that every person who cheats on their spouse has a miserable marital life. But there are people who have no choice but to live with a partner they don’t love or receive love from.

We need to ask ourselves, why are people forced to live with a toxic, abusive, and self-centered partner? I understand that in our culture, marriage is said to be a sacred institution, supposed to go on till eternity. But then why are people married off to the wrong people?

Do we understand that the wrong person can cause harm to the innocent one? What if they never fall in love with each other, which people suppose will come naturally after tying the knot? How desperate a person could be to make a wrong choice while being fully aware of the possible consequences?

It is understandable that not everyone’s true intentions can be known in a day or two. People may put their faith and trust in the wrong people. But when you come to know that the person who married your child, relative, friend, cousin, or someone you know, is bad and undeserving, then would you take a stand?

Would you advocate for the love and respect that person should get in exchange for the pious vows taken during the wedding? Judging someone’s character isn’t a tough thing. All you would need is the person to commit a mistake. But then we fail to understand what made the person commit that mistake.

Also read: Marital Rape: A Crime That’s Not Illegal

One thought on “An Unusually And Whopping Question To Ask

Leave a Reply

%d bloggers like this: