Do you feel nervous before expressing your thoughts and opinions because you fear what others may think? What do you term this as? Before you answer this, ask yourself, do you always try to please others? Do you fear what if some people didn’t like your actions and words, even when you’re doing your best? This feeling is ‘the fear of being judged’.
Since our childhood, we have learned, humans are social-animal. As humans, the need for belongingness eventually comes to us. We all crave belongingness and affection in some or another way. Perhaps, therefore, we get affected by what others say about us. We may feel happy when someone appreciates us or feel sad when judged by others. We get so much affected by people’s perceptions of us that we develop the fear of being judged.
This is so prominent that we often try various things to elude it and give up on certain things. We forget, the moment we set our own paths & try to achieve our goals, people will judge us. This usually happens during the initial stage when people around you aren’t able to understand your efforts. They will pass on judgments just because you seem to be different from the rest of the others. They may find your ‘unconventional side’ unusual and this is when they form judgments about you.
One may think, fearing the judgments is temporary and there’s nothing to worry about it. However, this is not the truth. When you often worry about what people may think about you, this can lead to socialized anxiety disorder. No no, that doesn’t mean you will need a psychiatrist treatment but it can surely make you feel inferior. You may stop yourself from making some good connections.
You may think, “I don’t earn enough and therefore, my friends may mock me”.
“My skin is dark-complexioned and therefore, I must not wear this color. People will find me funny.”
“I must not propose any idea in today’s meeting. What if people don’t like it?”
There could be times, when you may let go of some golden opportunities, just because you are busy pleasing others. This shows you are giving importance to what others think rather than what’s important to you.
So, it gets quite important to overcome this fear. I won’t say that you may get over this fear in a blink of an eye. It takes time and trust me, it works. Now you may think, what are those tips?
How To Stop Worrying About People’s Judgments
The fear of being judged is natural and all of us have been through it. There’s nothing to feel embarrassed about it. However, one needs to learn to control and overcome this fear. Else this fear may hold us back from achieving our goals and aspirations.
1. Stop Judging Yourself
If you want to overcome the fear of being judged, you need to first stop judging yourself. When you judge yourself, you eventually allow others to judge you. It is understandable that there could be times when you may not feel 100% confident. You may feel nervous or hesitate in certain situations. But that doesn’t mean you will pay heed to your inner critic.
2. Know Your Strengths And Weaknesses
In order to overcome the fear of being judged, it is important to focus on your strengths. When you are aware of your strengths and weaknesses, you aren’t bothered by what people think about you. It is important to be aware of your attributes and shortcomings. You should not be bothered about what opinions others form about you or the things they say about you.
3. Trust Your Abilities And Skills
Are you someone who is always surrounded by self-doubts? Well, then you may not be trusting your abilities and skills. Even though you know you can do a particular work, you may hesitate in doing it. This is because you doubt your skills and when this happens, you eventually develop the fear of being judged. Unless you don’t trust yourself, you may not overcome this fear.
4. Avoid Seeking Validation From Others
Seeking validation from others is another way of giving people the authority to judge you. When you ask people to give you approval, it’s obvious that they may judge you. Not only this, but you may then try to please them. This way, you may try to change yourself as per their likes and dislikes. On the other hand, you must understand that one may form opinions about you. So what? You must not care about what they think about you. Instead, you should try to be, the best version of who you are.
5. Watch Out For Your Inner Critic
There’s always an inner critic in all of us. There will be times, when our conscience may criticize our actions. At times, this criticism can be positive but at other times, these may be nothing but our fears. When you pay more attention to your fears, you stop yourself from giving your best. As a result, you may worry about how people will perceive you. Now at this point, you develop the fear of being judged. So, it is better to watch out for inner critic and let yourself give your best.
6. Never Invite Unnecessary Judgements
You need to stop people from stripping you from your personality and individuality. Being at the receiving end of the judgments that people pass at you, can affect you to a great extent. If you stand quietly and say nothing to those who judge you of nowhere, you may start fearing. You may not feel confident in meeting new people or sharing your thoughts and opinions.
7. Accept The Way You Are
Accepting yourself the way you are is highly important if you want to remove the fear of being judged. Instead of focusing on what others may think of you, it is better that you be confident in your skin. Accept your flaws and be proud of what you have. When you are happy, successful, and confident, no one will have the audacity to judge you.
I agree that it may not be possible to avoid people’s judgments or trying to stay unaffected by them. You may feel disheartened and that happens with all of us. But what matters, in the end, is how well you deal with these judgments. Try to focus on what is important to you. Things will eventually fall in the right places.
Prerna loves to write and shower love on animals. She enjoys reading and exploring places. Though sweet in her pictures, at times, she is difficult to understand. Being a strong believer in hard work and karma, she loves solitude and peace. Apart from this, she loves petrichor and harmony and wishes to achieve her one and only ataraxia for a lifetime.