Ending a relationship or bond that was special for you, is painful. It is not easy to bear the melancholy that comes after a relationship fails or ends miserably. Doesn’t matter if death, divorce, or breakup was the reason, the heart aches. All your emotions and hopes shatter into pieces, leaving you alone and miserable. Seeing you cry and unable to bear the pain, people may ask you to move on. They may even pacify you but in the end, they would always want you to move on.
While others choose to move on, others can’t do the same. Even if they try their best, they find themselves running into a spiral. People try hard to move on, at times, desperately. They may often seek answers to questions: ‘What does moving feel like?’ ‘How can I know if I am moving on?’
One can never answer these questions in a definite way, though. People may give you tips on how to move on, what things you can do, etc. But one cannot decide the course of action for you to move on. You need to find ways that can help you move on.
But then people often find themselves unable to move on, despite all their efforts. It is because not many people understand the true meaning of moving on. People often think, that moving on means forgetting the love and bond they had. They may stop themselves from falling for someone, or getting too close to someone. However, it depends on them if they want to be with someone or not.
Moving on doesn’t mean forgetting something you had so dear to you. It is about cherishing your moments while appreciating the fulfilling life ahead of you. However, this doesn’t mean you are done crying and grieving and now you won’t be hurt again. No, it is not that. Your loss continues to be a part of your life but in a way that doesn’t hold you back in life. It is about your happiness and grief coexisting in this world while you move ahead with your life, dreams & hopes.
When you try to move on, you stop to dwell on the grief and pain and accept what has happened. It is about choosing to lead a content life while you miss and long for something/someone you lost. You stop making others uncomfortable about your pain and loss when you move on. Believe it or not, it is difficult for people to watch someone they love- hurt and grieve so profoundly. You are not supposed to make people comfortable with your grief, though. But if you continue to endure the grief, you are eventually hurting the other people who love and care about you.
Now you may ask, what should be the timeline for moving on? How much time does it take to move on? For that, I would say, there is no fixed timeline for anyone. A person may move on in a week, others may take years to come out of their sadness. What matters here is you need to have your own pace. It shouldn’t depend on anyone’s advice or opinions. Your heart and mind will eventually help you set the pace.
Moving on could be the right advice, they give you but no one can feel the depth of melancholy that sets in. It is harder for some people and you may have to force yourself to walk through it, often alone. Shedding tears and feeling depressed will never heal the pain.
Though crying can help you release all that you have held for so long, you will have to go on with life. You will be the one going through a hard time, yet outshining others. Try to move on from everything that has happened, if not for yourself, at least for people who can’t see you grieving. Honor the good times that you had and open your heart to many more upcoming moments in life.
It is important to give yourself a second chance.
Prerna loves to write and shower love on animals. She enjoys reading and exploring places. Though sweet in her pictures, at times, she is difficult to understand. Being a strong believer in hard work and karma, she loves solitude and peace. Apart from this, she loves petrichor and harmony and wishes to achieve her one and only ataraxia for a lifetime.