Beyond love and romance

Narcissist Alert! Signs Your Partner is One

Dating someone caring and loving is no doubt bliss. You may get smitten with your partner for who he/she is. But it is only after a few meetings, you get to know who your partner actually is. You become aware of his/her habits, behavior, likes, dislikes, opinions, aspirations, and a lot more. This is when you come to know if you are with a genuine person or a narcissist. When talking about a narcissist, it is important for you to understand what it means. 

Who Is A Narcissist

Have you ever come across a person who is extremely fond of himself/herself? If yes, then you would agree that a person often seems entitled and arrogant. This entitled person always prioritizes himself/herself over anything and anyone. No matter what, that person would never consider themselves a bit less than others. Not only this, but the person will lack empathy for others. In simpler words, he/she may not care about what and how you are feeling. 

This person is what we call a Narcissist. A narcissist may shower affection and love upon you but would always undervalue you. This is because narcissists feel no other person in this world can be better than them. They won’t take your emotions and feelings into account.

Even if you give your best, you may not be able to make it in their eyes. They would always consider you inferior to themselves as they believe they are the best and perfect ones. These people often seem gentle, charismatic, confident, and loving partners in the beginning. However, things turn nasty and unexpected, when they show their true side. I have seen some of my friends being with narcissistic partners and suffer miserably. You may not realize but you or your close ones could be with a narcissist.

Though a narcissistic trait can be hard to identify, there are always a few signs that can help you. Today I have listed down some tell-tale signs that can help you understand if your partner is narcissistic.

Signs Of A Narcissistic Partner

People often find it difficult to find out if they are around a narcissist. Owing to this fact, narcissists show themselves as one of the best people you have ever crossed paths with. Here are some signs that you may need to look at.

1. The Person Always Exaggerates 

A narcissist will always exaggerate his/her achievements, even when no one is interested in listening to the same. They would boast about how they treat others and what a caring heart they have. These people exaggerate to focus on how bigger and important their existence is. Usually, narcissists exaggerate themselves, when they are trying to woo a potential partner. At this time, they would boast about anything and everything related to them. From their leadership skills to their accumulated wealth, you’ll find them praising themselves.

2. The Person Lacks Empathy

For a narcissist, everything and everyone belong to them. Therefore, they don’t feel like investing their time and energy in having empathy. They won’t find it wrong to cross personal boundaries and mistreat people. This is because all they care about is their needs, wishes, desires, and achievements. They may humiliate or undervalue you to get things done, without caring about how you feel.

3. The Person Is Extremely Controlling 

If your partner is extremely controlling, then chances are he/she could be a narcissist. The narcissist may put restrictions on you, in such a way that you mistake it for affection. For example, if the person doesn’t want you to learn certain skills, fearing you might outshine them, he/she would say, “you are already so talented. You don’t have to learn these things.” The person may monitor your whereabouts as well, asking, “Where are you? I was worried if you were with someone with hidden motives, trying to woo you.” 

You see the person asks these questions in such a subtle manner that you may not sense a red flag. The narcissist controls their partner just to ensure they enjoy the topmost position in their partner’s life.

4. The Person Always Wants You To Admire Him/Her

A narcissist will always want you to admire and praise him/her, even if there’s no such occasion. The person would expect you to say things in their praises every now and then. The moment you point out any flaw or mistake, he/she will belittle you. He/she would say things to highlight his/her achievements and make you believe that he/she is the best.

5. The Person Is Shallow In Terms Of Emotions

When I say shallow in terms of emotions, I mean a person who is emotionally cold and distant. When you get into a relationship, it is obvious that you may connect to that person on an emotional level. You may try to have emotional intimacy with that person. But if you are dating a narcissist, you won’t be emotionally connected to that person. Your partner would hardly understand what it is like to have an emotional bond with you. 

6. The Person Has No Sense Of Responsibility

By saying so, I mean to say a narcissistic partner will rarely accept his/her mistakes. Even if they are wrong at several points, they will shift the blame on your head. They would say sweet things to make you believe you are at fault. Even if the narcissist is caught cheating on you, he/she will rationalize the reasons behind cheating. 

7. The Person Feels Everyone Is Envious Of Him/Her

One of the biggest traits of a narcissist is that he/she thinks everyone is envious of who he/she is. Even if no one envies a narcissist, the person would always think otherwise. Not only this, but a narcissist would always envy others, though he/she may deny doing so. A narcissist believes in the notion that no one can be better than him/her. For this, they constantly remind themselves that people envy them. But deep down in their hearts, they envy others. 

8. The Person Is Highly Manipulative

Since narcissists always feel entitled and better than others, they may manipulate you to twist any situation in their favor. In fact, manipulation is the biggest weapon in their arsenal. Narcissists are experts in getting their needs fulfilled and for this, they won’t hesitate from manipulating you. Their needs are nothing more than admiration, appreciation, and attention. 

Initially, you may not understand if your partner is manipulating you. But when you are finally able to connect the dots, it might be too late for you. 

In case, you related to most of these signs, then you can have a conversation with your partner. Discuss how important your self-worth is for you and how things can be improved. A genuine partner will for sure understand and respect your opinions. You may also move out of the relationship and be with empathetic and caring people. And yes, it is better to look for kinder people rather than those who are highly charismatic.

Also read: Gaslighting? Know What It Is And If You Are Going Through It

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