Beyond love and romance

Subtle Signs Of A Cheating Partner To Look For

Think about a situation wherein your relationship was going smooth and then suddenly things changed. There could be some subtle yet detectable signs that may tell something is wrong in your relationship. The person who seemed to be honest, loyal, and loving now avoids you and seems to be distant. Even if you try to mend things and wonder what went wrong, he/she seems to be seeking happiness elsewhere. This is when you may suspect your partner to be cheating on you. Initially, you may think your partner will never cheat on you but then things may seem to be the opposite.  

Let us not deny that infidelity is one of the most depressing things in a relationship. Many couples around the world are facing this problem. However, there are people who are blindsided by what their partners are doing, others just can’t ignore the red flags. In both cases, infidelity can cause severe heartbreak and trust issues. At times, you may feel that you are just going through the rough patch and there’s no cheating chapter in your relationship. But what if your partner comes home late at night with the scent of someone’s signature perfume? Or, seems distracted even when you try to engage in things that made the two of you happy? 

Though it is really bad to doubt your partner and spy on him/her, clearing the air is a better option. After all, who likes to go on with the suspicion and uncertainty in his/her mind? To help with this, I am here with some subtle signs that tell if your partner is cheating on you. 

1. Your Partner Often Forgets To Mention His/Her Plans

People who cheat tend to forget to mention their plans to the people around them. They may mention things on a ‘need-to-know’ basis. Your partner may announce all of a sudden that he/she is going on a night out or a trip. Upon asking, he/she may say that he/she forgot to mention it to you. While the truth could be your partner was so happy somewhere else that he/she didn’t care to inform you. Or, maybe your partner didn’t want to inform you about their plans beforehand. In short, he/she doesn’t fill you in with details. 

2. The Communication Between Your Partner And You Is Changed

Hands down, a change in the communication between you and your partner can never be a positive thing. If your partner doesn’t share his/her feelings, opinions, thoughts, and whereabouts, then this could be a red flag. Ask yourself, do you find it difficult to make your partner speak to you or fight with you? 

Does your partner avoid any and every conversation, even though you find him/her in a good mood? As soon as you say something, he/she may either change the topic or make an excuse. He/she may give you reasons why you can’t have a conversation. In fact, your partner’s body language may seem to be dismissive. 

3. There’s A New Person, Your Partner Can’t Stop Talking About

Bringing up a colleague, friend, gym buddy or any other person quite often could be a sign of adultery. He/she may talk about the new friend they made or boss in his/her office on a daily basis. By saying so, I mean he/she mentions that person every now and then with excitement and joy. Though your partner may seem elated about meeting someone, it could be a possibility he/she is smitten with someone. 

4. Your Partner Is Putting More Attention On His/Her Appearance

Paying attention to one’s appearance is undisputedly a good thing but the problem arises when a third person comes in. If your partner is paying more attention to his/her appearance out of nowhere, then this could be a sign of adultery. You may find him/her trying new perfume/hairstyles/clothes which he/she never paid attention to before this. At first, you may think, this could be a self-love thing or is trying to appeal to someone. But if your partner doesn’t try to impress you, then don’t you think there’s something fishy? 

5. Blatant Lies And Vague Reasons Are The New Normal

Do you think that your partner has been telling blatant lies and giving vague answers to you, lately? But that doesn’t mean he/she is cheating, isn’t it? Well, this won’t be a problem until it becomes a daily routine. If you often catch your partner telling lies to you, then this could be a red flag. He/she may lie about having increased working hours at work while trying to spend time with someone else. You may get to hear of a fake business trip to cover up a holiday with his/her secret partner.

6. Your Partner Takes His/Her Phone Literally Everywhere

Some people are always hooked to their phones and just can’t stay away from the same. They may use their phone all the time, either out of habit or boredom and that may not be cheating. The problem arises when all of a sudden you find your partner carrying his/her phone anywhere and everywhere. Be it washroom or watering plants in the garden, your partner won’t let his/her phone away from the sight. In fact, he/she may become anxious and impatient when you touch his/her phone.

7. There’s An Increased Frequency Of ‘Important Calls’

Do you find ‘important calls’ incoming more than before on your partner’s phone? Is it that your partner often excuses himself/herself on the pretext of talking to his/her boss? And when you try to ask what’s the matter, he/she may tell it is just related to work. In some cases, it could be genuine, while in others it could be a cover-up to hide the secret affair. Here, instead of being blindfolded, you need to play smart. 

8. You Don’t Receive Replies Even When Your Partner Is Online

I am not saying that if your partner is online then he/she should talk to you. But there could be times when he/she may remain online and not reply to your texts. They may tell you they are off to bed and are too tired to talk while being online. Not only this, but you may find your partner too busy texting someone more than before. Each and every time, you may find them smiling at someone’s texts and texting back while ignoring you. However, when you try to engage your partner in texting, he/she may try to avoid it. 

9. He/She Is Too Interested In Knowing Your Comings And Goings

Another sign your partner is cheating on you is he/she is too invested in knowing your schedule. He/she may ask, “At what time you will be going out with your friends” or “when you’ll come back”. Your partner may seem to be trying to extract general information about your plans. This could be because your partner is trying to find time to be with someone else when you aren’t around.

10. Your Friends Are Pointing Out Something You Don’t Know

Your friends may notice the red flags in your relationship before you do. They may point out that they have seen your partner with someone else or just have a gut feeling. Though turning the whole world upside down at once could be foolish, you need to find out the truth. Check on if your friend is right or it’s just a misunderstanding. 

At times clear signs of any red flag is a great thing. However, there could be times when you need to listen to your instincts. If you find something amiss and an unusual change in your partner’s behavior, then find the reason behind it. Infidelity in any relationship is a traumatic thing. You shouldn’t see your partner through the lenses of suspicion but turning a blind eye can be deadly.

Instead of trusting your partner blindly, focus on noticing odd things and confronting the same with your partner. Do not wait for your partner to come up to you and speak the truth. Your partner may give an excuse for a change in his/her demeanor but that won’t help. If you have got a gut feeling or see some telltale signs, just connect the dots and find the truth. Because you have the right to know what’s going under your nose. 

Also read: Some Relationship Red Flags You Must Not Neglect

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