Do you remember those days when our teachers used to scold us for disobeying or not doing homework? They used to reward us for obeying them and doing what they asked us to do, isn’t it? You might feel nostalgic and reminisce about those days but what if it happens in your relationship? If you aren’t able to understand what I am saying is, all about Love Bombing. It may seem as if your partner is showering love upon you and praising you in every possible manner. But here’s a catch.
The catch is, this abundant love and compliment come with a manipulation and sense of control over you. Have you seen the Bollywood movie Agni Sakshi, starring Nana Patekar and Manisha Koirala? While watching the movie, you can see to what extent the husband showers love on his wife to please him. At the same time, he punishes her for doing things he doesn’t approve of as if she has no individuality. If you are still confused about what I am talking about, then let me elaborate.
What Is Love Bombing
Love Bombing is a subtle form of manipulation wherein a person manipulates his/her partner by showering love. The manipulator will seem extremely caring, loving, and affectionate just to make you obey him/her at any cost. He/she will bring you adorable gifts, compliment you and try to be around you, round the clock. You may feel blessed to have such a partner and consider it as being loved and adored by your partner. However, not all glitters are gold. In exchange for love and care, the person expects you to do things he/she wants, even if it’s wrong.
Love Bombers are experts in exhibiting grand gestures of love in exchange for recognition and undivided attention from their partners. Your partner may ask you to listen to him/her no matter what and consider them important above all. This usually happens during the initial days of the relationship. It can be quite difficult to recognize the red flags as we often take care of our partner’s likes & interests. Now you may say ‘what’s wrong if my partner wants me to listen to him/her?’ So, you need to know when you do something for your partner, it should be thoughtful and genuine. Trying to impress your partner or fearing him/her when you claim he/she already loves you, is wrong.
But how can one figure out if he/she is with a love bomber? Well, here are some signs to look for.
Signs Of Love Bombing
1. They Bombard Unexpected And Expensive Gifts
Not all partners who surprise their partners with gifts are love bombers. A true partner will never expect anything in return for gifts. They won’t ask their partners to give them attention and respect just because they brought gifts. They will never ask you to acknowledge and appreciate their generosity after bombarding you with presents. Not only this, as soon as they bring gifts for you, they transition into a controlling partner.
2. They Always Try To Be Around You
A love bomber will always stick and hover around you. No matter what plans you have, he/she will come up with excuses to be around you. At first, it may seem that your partner can’t stay away from you and therefore, wants to be with you. On the contrary, he/she would be with you to ensure you don’t spend time with anyone else. The love bomber will make sure all your plans include him/her.
3. They Say Mushy Things And Expect The Same From You
If your partner sends you mushy messages every time & expects the same from you, then this could be love bombing. He/she may sound flattering such as, ‘I have never seen someone like you’. ‘There’s no one as beautiful and mesmerizing as you’. Though all couples complement each other, love bombers are evidently overwhelmed all the time. Not only this, but they expect you to return similar compliments with equal intensity.
4. They Take Things Too Fast
As soon as a love bomber enters into a relationship, he/she will do everything to bring in the commitment. Even if you ask him/her to give you some time, he/she won’t pay heed to it. Rather the person will show why it is important to commit ASAP. He/she will introduce you to his/her friends as his/her would-be life partner without even considering your opinion.
5. They Expect Non-Stop Pampering And Attention From You
One of the telltale signs of love bombing is the person will always want you to pamper him/her. You may receive 10-20 calls a day, just because your partner thinks you are not giving attention to him/her. In fact, when the two of you hang out together, he/she may ask you for public display of affection. Denying to which may result in petty fights and abuses from his/her end. You may get to listen to words such as, “I want you to hold my hands when we eat in a restaurant”. Or, “do not look at anyone at the party but me”, “You need to show people that you love me.”
6. They Try To Control Your Life
As above-mentioned, a love bomber will always try to gain control over your thoughts, interests, and life. They will ask you to do things they approve of, failing to which they may abuse you physically and verbally. They may ask you to wear clothes they like and eat as per their likes and dislikes. Above all, they may term it as a gesture of true love.
Love Bombing is undoubtedly one of the manipulative tactics used in the early days of a relationship. A love bomber may love his/her partner to a great extent, provided the victim is submissive and obedient. But when the victim doesn’t obey, the love bomber withdraws all love and kindness and discloses his/her cruel side.
It is always advisable to stay away from such a partner and relationship. When you are in love, you shouldn’t be bound to do the biddings of your partner. Love is unconditional and kind. If your partner seeks something in return that sabotages your mental peace and happiness, then it’s not love.
Well, if you too have something to share about toxic relationships and love bombing, specifically, please comment in the comment box.
Prerna loves to write and shower love on animals. She enjoys reading and exploring places. Though sweet in her pictures, at times, she is difficult to understand. Being a strong believer in hard work and karma, she loves solitude and peace. Apart from this, she loves petrichor and harmony and wishes to achieve her one and only ataraxia for a lifetime.